Expectations: The Slippery Slope to Resentment…

Expectations are tricky. They sound harmless even normal. But when they go unmet, they can become poison. They shape how we think people should act, how situations should unfold, and what we deserve. And when life doesn’t match the script in our heads, disappointment creeps in. Disappointment turns to frustration. Frustration turns to resentment. And that resentment…. It can stall your recovery in its tracks.

Awareness — The First Step Off the Slope

Awareness changes everything. It’s realizing that our expectations come from us and our experiences, our values, our needs. But not everyone shares the same lense. People, places, and things will not always behave the way we imagine they should.

Ask yourself:

Did I clearly express what I needed?

Were my expectations realistic?

Was I hoping someone would just “know”?

We hurt ourselves when we expect others to read our minds. Awareness doesn’t just open your eyes — it opens your heart to reality.

Communication — The Bridge That Prevents Misunderstanding

Most resentment grows in silence. Two people can both care deeply and still miss each other completely. One shows love through action. The other through words. Neither feels seen. That’s the danger of unspoken expectations. When we don’t communicate, we set others up to fail tests they didn’t even know they were taking. Real communication isn’t confrontation. It’s connection.

Say what you need.

Listen when someone tells you how they give.

That’s how we bridge the gap between what we hope for and what’s real.

Because communication kills resentment before it has the chance to grow.

Acceptance — Meeting Reality Where It Is

Acceptance is not weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s letting go of the need to control outcomes or people.

Acceptance says,

“This is where I am.

This is who they are. And that’s okay.”

It doesn’t mean you lower your standards. It means you stop fighting what already is. When we stop wrestling with “should have been,” we start living in “what is.” And that’s where peace begins.

Forgiveness — For Both Sides of the Story

Forgiveness is where transformation meets truth. In recovery, we often stand on both sides of it. We need to forgive and be forgiven. We’ve hurt people family, friends, employers, loved ones. And their forgiveness? It might not come quickly. Sometimes, it doesn’t come at all.

That’s their process.

Their healing.

Their timing.

You can’t rush it, but you can earn it through consistency, honesty, and humility.

And when it does come, receive it with gratitude, not guilt.

Then there’s the other side. Forgiving yourself. Because forgiveness isn’t saying it was okay. It’s saying, I refuse to live in the past anymore. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It means choosing peace over punishment.

The Takeaway

Expectations can be slippery. They can pull us into frustration, blame, and resentment before we even realize it. But when we bring awareness, communication, acceptance, and forgiveness into our lives, those same expectations can become lessons not losses. Recovery isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real. It’s about being raw. It’s about taking responsibility. That’s how we rise. That’s how we heal.

That’s Real Raw Recovery.

Keep it Real My Friends

Mike